Sunday, December 9, 2012

On vacation

The fam just recently took a vacation to Ixtapa, Mexico. A Club Med. Whilst on vacation I thought I might try to "relax" a little and just let D be a kid and do kid things like...spill her drink, squirm in her seat, play around while eating. Well, that didn't happen. Just as soon as I made the decision to do so, we headed off to the dining room for lunch and the first thing I did was remind her to use her fork to eat. And then that just followed with, please sit properly when you eat..."less playing, more eating please..." and so on and so forth. I think I need to just come to terms that I am just not that mom. The kind that just loves her child to death that nothing he/she does is wrong. And I don't even mean to that extreme. I just don't know how to not discipline where I think discipline is due, which happens to be all times. Sad, isn't it?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Baby Free Weekend

Last weekend, I had a lovely weekend with a gf. Just me and S in Napa Valley. I took D to her aunt's house to spend the weekend, I spent the weekend in Napa and G spent the weekend back at home. I had a lovely time..when S asked, "What's G doing this weekend?" I replied, "Dunno. Probably crying because he hates to be away from his girls." S thought I was kidding but then she realized I was not. It's true, he misses us terribly when we are away and then towards the end of the weekend, S was commenting about how she was starting to miss her girls too...yet, when she asked me if I was missing my G and D I truthfully responded, Nope. And I didn't. It's funny, when I am away from my family, I just don't miss them. I have never missed my family...I love them dearly and would do anything for them and when I am with them I am fully vested. But when I am away, I am away. I suppose if I were going to be away for 2 weeks or a month, I would probably miss seeing D and G but as it is I am hardly ever away from either of them! And it's crazy. I know I've written before about how attached D is to me, and everyone always says, "Oh, that's normal. Hello, you are her mom." But, no. It's truly weird. When I got back to R's house, yes D was excited to see me but I think her heart hurt a little that we had flown to her aunt's house together and then I went off for the weekend. She did not want to leave my side the minute I got back. When we made a trip to Target, firstly, she didn't want to go because she just wanted to be with me inside the house. But we had to get out so her cousin could nap. In the car, she wanted me to sit next to her but I couldn't because N's car seat was situated there. I said I would sit in front but hold her hand. That was not good enough for her. She broke down into tears and she wouldn't even look at me because she was so upset. I mean...I am not joking. Is that crazy? This girl loves her mama. So, anyhow, that last weekend REALLY made me feel bad about D. It's like she doesn't want to lose that connection we have and now I don't either. It really made my heart hurt to see how sad she was. I mean...I don't have a heart but I found one this past weekend.

Mixed messages

Sometimes, Hubby and I really need to get on the same page. This morning, D runs in and says to me, "Mommy! We have to buy new marshmallows." I reply, "But we have some." D: "No, Daddy says those are molded. They are spoiled so we have to buy new ones." In my mind, I am thinking I want to try and educate her on how bad marshmallows are so I say, "Nooo, marshmallows don't go bad. They have a very long shelf life..." I'm sure that thought was lost on her but even as I said it, I thought, "Oh, wait, maybe G told her that story because he was trying to redirect her from wanting the marshmallows" therefore telling her they are molded. We all know marshmallows don't mold. So, then I quickly reply, "Well..okay. I guess we will have to buy more marshamallows..." Done. Phew! Apparently, she probably didn't even care about the marshmallows because she didn't push the issue which she usually ALWAYS does because this girl is OBSESSED with sugar. It's terribly irritating.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Adults are...such a snore

I know I talk about D going to a Waldorf school a lot...or do I only do that in person? Anyhoo, I am very pleased with the whole Waldorf philosophy. What I really love is that they try to preserve childhood and the wonders of childhood. So much so that they really frown upon media since media oftentimes really just exhibits adult appropriate content. But, besides that, in the classroom and the teachers try to maintain fantasy in the children's minds. They tell stories in the oral tradition so the children make up images in their own minds as the story unfolds. They tell stories about gnomes and fairies. I love all that. Remember when we used to be engrossed in all that? And then we grew up and the real world seems all we are able to connect with. Sad. Case in point, the other day while D and I were out walking, she picked up a young acorn. She said, "Look! An apple with a hat!" And of course, I agreed. "Oh what a lovely apple with a hat!" And D was so happy with her find. "Why does the apple have a hat, mama?" Me: "Well, I'm not so sure..." And then D sees a woman up ahead walking her dog and she runs up to the lady and says, "Look! I found an apple with a hat!" And what does that darn lady do?? She says this: "A what?" D replies again with the apple with a hat and the lady says, "Oh, or what is commonly known as an acorn!" With a stupid big smile on her face. I was so irritated!!! For goodness sakes, woman! Can you not see that my daughter is a mere three years old. Let her think that acorn is an apple with a hat! DRATS!! Stupid adults. And from that moment on, D referred to her find as an acorn with a hat. Stupid adults.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Dealing with adversity

We just spent a week in Portland visiting some friends who have two sons - one is six and one is four. The four year old is a real mean-spirited guy sometimes. So at the beginning of the week, whenever J would do anything - like grab D's toy and keep it from her, D would cry or turn to me and say something like, "Mammmaaa, J took my toy." And I would respond, "Well, did you want to ask him to give it back?" D: "Can you give me back my toy?" J: "No." Me: Well, D, you'll just have to find another toy to play with since these are J's toys...etc. etc. Sometimes, J's mom would jump in to try and get him to share, but sometimes not and then we'd all have to move on somehow. At the end of the week, however, I could see that D was really starting to understand J's motives and was not going to let him have the satisfaction. (Proud moment!!) There was one instance where J scrambled up a monkey bar which he knew was too big for D and then told her she couldn't sit next to him. She called out to me and said, "Mama.." I replied, "Yes" as I was walking to her and she looks at J and then looks away yonder and says to me, "Look at those dinosaur eggs over there!" Thereby, not giving J the satisfaction of letting on that she was bugged by his action! Seriously! That was a proud moment for me. In my mind, I was thinking, "Good for you!!" Then D and I just went off to play something else and J had to come trailing after. Awesome.


D is now REALLY expressing her independence. She wants to do everything herself and I can literally see/feel her wheels spinning as she tries to combat everything I say that disagrees with her. It is cah-razy. About her independence. She doesn't like when people approach us while we are walking our dog, Yoda and I do all the talking. She wants to be the one to tell them Yoda's name. She wants to order her own meals. Not just point out what she wants on the menu, but literally tell the server what she wants. As far as verbal combat, she is quite quick. Will NOT put up with me trying to get her to move faster or do anything she doesn't feel like doing. She is quick to respond, "No, I WILL NOT!" Or "well, then...DON'T TALK TO ME!" Of course, I am always dumbfounded as to how to react when she speaks like that. I understand she is just trying to express her frustration (as probably learned by watching me) so I can't very well reprimand her. Or can I? Not sure. I guess I could respond by gently saying, "That is not very kind. What is it that you are really trying to say here?" Oh, yes! That would be nice response. Rather than what I've done before which is to not respond at all. And by "at all", I mean, I don't speak to her. Just like she's asked and when she is hollering at the top of her lungs for me to answer her when she is talking to me, I politely respond, "You said, 'Don't talk to me' so that is what I am doing." I can be so childish at times. Sorry, my mind works in that childish fashion, that is what D gets as opposed to the more mature response that I just worked out above when I wrote it. Oh well. I'm sure there will be a next time when I can respond appropriately.

Monday, August 27, 2012

It was just a matter of time

Before D picked up on my anger communication...well, basically what I do when I am upset with a person is that I won't talk to them. I've even gone so far as to say to D when I am upset, "I am not speaking with you because I am upset with you!" Today, her dad really made her upset. She was so upset she was sobbing. Then she came to me for comfort and after a while she calmed down a bit. Then her father was calling after her, "D...D...D?" I said, "It would be nice if you answered your father." She replies, "No." So, she's not talking to him because she's mad. Hehehe! Eventually, she got over it (as do I) but she let him know...not the best way to deal with things but you know what they say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all"

Sunday, August 12, 2012


It's amazing how much goes into marketing to kids. And everyone just gobbles it up. It's no secret that D goes to a Waldorf school and true, strict Waldorf schools are very strict about a no media policy and basically, no commercialism. Children are to be sent to school without any cartoons, characters or lettering on their clothes. Parents are encouraged to limit media exposure to none during the school week and maybe one hour total on weekends. I totally buy into that. We do not watch television at our house in front of D at all. Well, unless her father has sports on or the Olympics has been on and she's watched a bit of that. But other than that, nothing. And again, we have also allowed her to watch something on YouTube sometimes, put in Kai Lan or Sound of Music into the DVD player but she definitely does not even get one hour on a weekly basis. I like it like that. Unfortunately, we can't keep her insulated against the whole world so there's the interest in Hello Kitty and Dora, etc etc. on items but she's not bananas about it all. She is, however, very much into "getting things." "Mama, can we get that? Mama I want this.." Thankfully, she doesn't throw tantrums but I just can't get over how much our society feeds into buy more! buy more! It's really gross sometimes. Why can't D ask, "What can we give away?" Instead of "Can I have?" Oh, I know why - because I never ask "What can we give away?" I think D is a bit young right now to start doing community work and volunteering around town but when she is old enough I need to start taking her to places to start donating our time to help others. Her grandmother (G's mom) is a Buddhist and very high up in ranking at their temple. I would like D to follow in her grandmother's footsteps and always be thoughtful and kind and giving and to always have the community's well being in her mind. I am sure Waldorf helps to inspire her in that way.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Don't like being told what to do

I was mentioning to G the other day how D really does not like being told what to do. For instance, we were on a walk. She was walking on a beam that did not look too sturdy so I said, "Better watch out D. You shouldn't walk on that because you could hurt yourself." And D got all grumpy looking and said, "Don't say that to me!" Me: I just don't want you to fall off. D: I won't! I wasn't going to... So, I am telling G this and his response is, "Neither do you. You don't like being told what to do." And I said, "Neither do you!" And Greg says, "I know. None of us like being told what to do. We are a "don't tell us what to do family." Ha!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Not one of my better mommy moments

Was at an amusement park today with D, her cousins and her best friend, M.  M and D had to use the restroom.  We walk in and there's a mommy, kiddie bathroom with a big person toilet and a mini toilet.  I, as well as the girls, was really excited.  "Look!!  It's a mini toilet!"
Bad move...bad move to get excited about the toilet but probably just a bad move to take two girls to the bathroom together because someone has to go first!  But who?
So, now you see where I'm going with this.  Both girls exclaim she wants to be the first to go.  So I say, "Okay, let's play rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first."
M ends up winning (another boo because somehow I think M would've taken her lot as second on the toilet a little better than D would..) and as one would expect, D threw a fit.
Now, I'm so nervous that she's thrown herself into a tizzy and is going to piss her pants if she doesn't get on a toilet!  Aaack!
So, I say, "M, are you done?"
M: No, I have to poo.  (WHAAAT??!)
Me:  I wish you would've told me that before because D would've just pee'd and gotten off the pot..
Maddy gets up and makes room for D to go.  D goes.
Me: D, are you done peeing?
D:  I have to go poo.
Me: M, would you mind just going poo on the big toilet?
M obliges.  Thankfully.  Then I turn to D and say, "You better squeeze out a poop otherwise you are going back to the car!  We will not stay here because you will have lied."
In the meantime, M poos and all is well.  Now we are just waiting on D.
Me:  You better poo D.....
D:  My poo is having a hard time coming out.
Me:  Well, you better poo or else you are going to the car.
Finally, D squeezes out a poo

Oh LORD!!  What is wrong with me??  I have probably traumatized my daughter like nothin' else!  Well, truly her whole environment from birth might've messed her up a bit...but this might be the icing on the cake.  Seriously.  I don't know just what overcomes me.  I need to work on the non-violent communication thing.  I mean,  I need to work on a lot of things but this might be a priority. :o)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Then and now

I see there is a difference between our generation as parents and our parents' generation.
Back in my parent's generation it seems like everyone was working hard to put food on the table and just getting ahead in life to give their children the best they could in experiences and ability to go to a good college.  And mind you, this is only from a Chinese family background.  I can't speak for anyone else's upbringing.
In our generation as parents I feel like the focus is more on esteem and making sure that we communicate to our children in such a way that they feel strong and connected.  It's more about the communication factor whereas back in the day, when we were kids, communication was just not a big focus.  What was a big focus was doing well in school, making sure you had the proper manners and the only communication that was going on was barking of orders and a lot of, "Do it because we told you to. Because we are your parents."  No questions asked.
It seems as if raising kids in that type of environment might've been easier since you really didn't care if your child cried herself to sleep.  The notion was, "You do as I say because I am your parent.  I feed you, I care for you, I provide for you.  And when you get older you will understand all that I am doing."
In my perspective, now that I am older I do understand all that my parents were doing for me.  But, oh how I wish they had taken the time to communicate with me so that I could've understood back then.  So I wouldn't have spent all those lost years in school because I just didn't understand the importance of a good educational foundation and I just didn't care because that was how I was going to rebel.
I wish there was more of an emphasis on love and respect (mutual) and showing of it rather than pretending tenderness was for suckers.
On the flip side, somehow, I feel like sometimes society has gotten just a tad lax about disciplining their children.  Because many parents don't want to upset their children or in trying to not harm a child's self-esteem, you inadvertently raise a very egotistical child that doesn't understand why the world does not revolve around him.
Truly, at the end of the day, I tend to think as long as you are not constantly beating and berating your child, he might just turn out all right.  Sometimes, what a child is made to overcome just makes him stronger, right?  I spend a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to communicate to my daughter.  But I also need to remind myself that she is a resilient child and if I fall of my rocker sometimes, it's okay. Everything will be all right because at the end of the day, I am a human being and I am not perfect, but I love her and this love emanates from the deepest part of my soul to touch the deepest part of her soul.

A temper check

Yes, I'm famously hot-tempered.  I've blogged about my inability to just keep my temper in check.
However, I must commend myself that I have been doing a much better job at not "losing it" when dealing with D.  She's not by any means a terrible child.  She never throws tantrums or really does anything to warrant my temper, I am just easily frustrated.
The other day, I was asking her to put her crayons away quickly because we had to leave (rule number 1 - never rush a child because you have not been conscientious of time...) and she was moving very, very slooowwwly.  So, I started to scream (because I was frustrated) and she in turn, shouted back, "Stop it!!  Stop yelling at me!"
Yes.  She did.  And I appreciated it because then I realized it was not her fault that she was moving so slow and that we were running late.  Chillaaax...
Obviously, my ideal would've been to just let the crayons stay there and not rush her at all but of course, I wasn't thinking with a clear mind at the time.  You see, I am not programmed that way.  Have you met my family??

From the mouths of babes

We saw this the other morning....

And D said, "Look, he's dressed up like a cow!"

Thursday, April 19, 2012


This morning D was acting like CRAZYTOWN! I mean, we don't know..did she get up on the wrong side of the bed or what? She was throwing tantrums like it's nobody's business.
This morning, all I could think was, "Thank goodness for school. Get this girl away from me."
And you know she doesn't throw tantrums in school so it's a win-win for everybody.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The mind of a three year old

The other morning I was frantically looking for my car keys. We were running late for school and I never really put my keys anywhere but in the side pocket of my bag or in the dish that holds all keys. This particular morning my keys were nowhere to be found. I am digging through my bag, looking in pants and jacket pockets all the while saying, "Where are my keys? I can't find my keys."
D's following me around saying, "Mama, what are you doing?"
While I reply, "D, I can't find my keys."
I even look in G's office. Nowhere.
In my mind I am thinking there's no way D could've taken them. Plus, never mind asking her since the last time we played this game (about 5 months ago or more) she blankly just said, "No, I haven't seen the flashlight...." Though later we found it in her play purse.
But I was at a loss so I turned to D and said, "D, did you play with mommy's keys?"
D replies, "Uh-huh!" Nodding a yes!
I say, "Do you remember where you put them?"
D replies happily, "Uh-huh! Of course!" And she points them out behind the coat rack where she's also stored my hand sanitizer and her dad's hair gel.
I mean, that just goes to show you how simple is the mind of a three year old. She was not connecting that I was running around looking for my keys and that I wouldn't know she misplaced them. But when I asked her directly she could answer.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

She's like me!

Normally when I am posting that D is like me I am lamenting because clearly she has inherited my terrible temper and my loud mouth. I think she's also a bit shy which is odd since I don't think I became shy until waaay later in life.
(Those who know me would be surprised to hear me refer to myself as "shy" but people, please don't confuse snarky and sarcasm with being shy. :o) Yes, I tend to be "shy" in crowd situations, but I get to know people right quickly and then I don't beat around the bush being sarcastic and acting like I've known you forever.)
Lately, I've been noticing that D is very precise when she is eating. She likes to eat the frosting off first, then the cake, that sort of thing. That is like me when I was younger! In fact, I still do that sometimes. While eating a kit kat, I don't just bite into it. I like to eat the chocolate off first, then eat the waffle pieces separately. It's kind of neat to see how D is like me in that way. Maybe not quite to that extreme.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A little smugness

Now that D's a bit older we are not so crazy about her taking naps. If she misses one, we don't get all crazy on her. But we are better off if she does take her nap so she's kinder, not so crazy, whiney and needy.
The other day, she goes out with her dad on an adventure, falls asleep in the car on the way home and then wakes up when they get home, but she has not napped long enough. She's crying and saying she wants a light saber (which was what her father promised her before they even left the house) So he takes her to get a light saber, we have lunch when they get home and dad says, "Okay, D, you know you need to go take a nap now, right?" She responds, "Yes."
She takes her little blankie and goes off to her bed.
She's quiet in there, we're ignoring her but then 40 minutes later, Dad goes to suit up for a bike ride and as soon as he leaves the house, D comes out.
I say, "Did you take a nap?" She says, "No..."
I respond, "Okay. That's fine."
So she goes about her merry business. We're having a fine time.
Dad comes home and I say to him, "Your daughter did not take a nap today...."
Dad say, "Oh, I know. She was talking to me when I was in the garage so I told her just to go out of her room if she didn't feel like napping."
I'm sitting around in my office, doing some work and D is flitting about the house just happy as a clam.
And at one point, she prances into my room and prances out mockingly repeating in a sing-songy voice, "Your daughter did not take a nap today..." as she happily exits my room!
Seriously?? This girl is too much.

Monday, March 26, 2012

A bump in the road

Sure, I've experienced A LOT of bumps in my road to better motherhood. But today really takes the cake.
D has been sick and she has a runny nose. The constant sniffling is maddening but besides that, I really believe that if you blow the gunk out of your nose, the sooner you will get better because it's just getting all the gunk out instead of recirculating it through the throat and the mouth. Do you ever notice how you'd sniffle and then cough immediately? Cuz you are choking on your snot? Too graphic? Maybe, but I'm just explaining my thought process.
So today G and I have been trying our darnedest to get D to blow her nose since for some reason, she doesn't like to do it. Maybe just exercising her right to say No?
Anyhoo, we are going about our day, I ask D what she'd like to have for lunch. She says dim sum (her favorite). Then I'm asking her to blow her nose, she says no so I reply, "Then no dim sum." And daddy concurs. Then it keeps going on and on...D, if you don't blow your nose, you won't get a toothbrush from the dentist. If you don't blow your nose then we won't do this.
I mean, seriously. What is WRONG with us??
While we are in the car and D has fallen asleep I turn to G and say, "y'know, it doesn't feel good to do that to D. I don't want to put something in front of her only to snatch it away. That just doesn't feel right."
And G concurs.
After naptime, D still does not want to blow her nose.
I try a positive approach, "D, remember earlier this morning when mama asked you to blow your nose and you said no at first, but then you told me later that you were ready to blow your nose? Let's do that. Why don't you tell me when you want to blow your nose?"
She just responds, "No." So she's not doing it.
Still going along the day with her not blowing her nose, but constantly wiping her nose on her sleeve. Yuck.
Then, we are sitting in her room playing and I finally say, "D, it's fine if you don't blow your nose, but I can't stand to listen to it so I have to leave."
D: No, don't leave!
Me: Well, will you blow your nose?
D: No.
Me: Well, then I have to go
And I promptly get up and leave the room.
What is wrong with me? Really. What is wrong with me?? Some might think - It's a control thing. But it's not! I just don't know why she won't do something that is good for her and will make her feel better??
She ends up just sitting in her room. She doesn't move. She is clearly not happy but she's not going to cry about it.
Later, I have to go to the market and I'm surprise to find her sitting in the same spot where I left her (about 10 minutes ago...not like her) and I say, "D would you like to come with me to the market?"
I see her eyes. She is sad. She wants to say yes, but she is hesitant because she doesn't want this to be another incident where I say she has to blow her nose first.
Oh, when I see the sadness in her eyes, it just kills me. I am such a horrible mother sometimes!! Tomorrow I will speak to her. I will tell her that what I did made me feel terrible and I don't want to do that again. I love her too much.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Losin' it

It seems I often have a lower level of patience when G is not around...not sure why but I do and I find myself screaming at D when she is misbehaving or just not listening.
Case in point, the other morning she wants to go outside and play and I tell her, "No, you cannot because we have to go to school."
She says, "I don't want to go to school."
I try to reason with her, all sweet and such, "Whaat? But you love school. Don't we love Miss Candice?"
She shakes her head no. I am at a loss for words. How do you reply to that in a positive way?? Do you know? Because I certainly did not.
Somehow, things got outta control and I am screaming at her telling her that if she doesn't go to school, then she can just stand in the living room by herself, no one is going to play with her...I'm slamming doors, she is crying.
Yup, I do A LOT of sighing as a parent. A lot of sighing and a lot of crying on the inside because I just don't know what to do sometimes....
Anyhooo, we get things all squared away, she goes to school albeit 30 minutes late. But, truly there was just no way to justify, "Okay, fine. Don't go to school then." Hello? Not an option.
Later in the afternoon, D's in her car seat and from behind me she says, "Mom, are you sorry you lost your temper earlier today?"
Whaat?! Wherrrree?? WhOOOO?? Yeah.
And I replied, "Yes. I'm very sorry I lost my temper but I was really upset that you were fighting me and not wanting to go to school."
It's crazy.
I mean, yes, both G and I might lose our tempers sometimes and yes voices might get raised and we usually will apologize to D afterwards that we are sorry we lost our tempers and try to explain things to her in an adult fashion.
It's amazing to me that she now puts the concept together and can ask me if I'm sorry. Crazy I tell ya. Just crazy.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Why this? why that?

Ugggh! Reading to D these days can be soo tedious. I mean, yes, of course I love reading to my child but she's always asking questions and sometimes, I just want to get through the book and put her to bed...does anyone else feel me??

Please and thank you

I had a friend over today...her daughter said, "do it again!" after she was spinning her around and V responded, "Do it again please" but then thought better of it and said, "No, it's okay. You don't have to say please." And then looked to me and said, "A friend of mine was saying, 'why have them say please at this age? They don't understand why they are doing it so you are essentially having them act like robots. And are you having them say please for themselves or for you?'"
I didn't agree with that. I argued that "please" and "thank you" are just proper etiquette. And you have a child say it because you want them to learn early on how to be polite. My reasoning was that it doesn't matter if they don't understand why they are doing it. It is proper and when they grow old enough to understand then they will have already developed proper etiquette.
And V had countered with, "yeah, but that is all so 50's-ish...back in the day."
And I retorted, and that is the problem with society today. This casualness so that children these days don't understand respect. They don't give their teachers or any adults any respect.
In my opinion there is less learning being accomplished in schools today because we have these "new agey" parent types that expect children to "parent" themselves (because we don't want to harm their self-esteem) and of course they can't because they don't have the ability so they go to school and teachers are now spending a good portion of their time trying to get children to sit and listen. Teachers now have to attempt to "parent" 30-40 children all of varying backgrounds and temperaments, how are they even expected to do their jobs?
But I can jump on that soap box all day. It really is something that wears on my brain. How incompetent our school system is and how are we even allowing this to continue? Why aren't more parents up in arms about this situation?
Here is my issue: I can send my child to a private school. But what about the thousands of parents that don't have that luxury? And the children that are suffering because of it? These children are our future. Why are there not more people (in higher level positions, positions that could really affect change) more concerned about the well-being of their "neighbors"? Why aren't there more Bill Gateses out there?

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Getting blood drawn

D got her blood drawn today and she was a superstar!!
Could've been one of two things or both - 1) right before she was going in, she saw a baby come out crying with a band aid on her arm. When she asked why the baby was crying, I said, "she just had her blood drawn." D responded, "I'm not going to cry. Because I'm a big girl!"
Yes! Correct!
2) right before the nurse was to draw blood and right before she took the cap off the needle, I told D to close her eyes and "Breathe!" and took a deep breath and breathed with her in her ear. Taking deep breaths until the nurse was done filling up two containers!
Voila! All done. No tears shed, a sticker as a prize and smiles all around. :oD

Some kind of sixth sense

We had guests in from out of town which meant that D slept in our room in her travel bed.
Wed night - she got up at midnight to pee and then stayed up so from 12-2am I am periodically saying, "Go to bed, D!". Then she finally fades back to sleep around 2ish and wakes up at 5am to pee again...
Thur night - same story as Wed.
Fri night - she was really sick so she slept the whole night, getting up maybe once to pee and then right back to bed.
Sat night - I went to spend the night in Pasadena (in a friend's hotel room) because I was a bit under the weather and was running a half marathon on Sunday morning so didn't want to be awakened in the middle of the night to deal with D. I get home from the run on Sunday and I'm asking G how was his night. Fine he replied. D never got up once to pee. She slept all the way through the night. WHAAAT? What is UP with that??
And consequently, Sunday night, she still got up at least once to pee. I just don't understand.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Listening, but not really

Today was really funny! D has not been drinking any water. I mean, who would when you've discovered sugar drinks?? Anyhoo, D wants a "pouch" which is one of those Happy Baby fruit/veggies baby food pouches that now toddlers love to eat as snacks.
So I hand her her sippy cup which is half full and say, "D, I am bringing a pouch with me, but you will not get it until you've finished half your water in your sippy cup."
So, she's back in her car seat sipping away and asking periodically, "Is this half, Mama? Is this half?" And between me and her dad, we are answering, "No." "No." All the while, G and I are having a conversation and just randomly saying, "No." without even looking over at her and then she's saying, "Mama! Is this half? Is this?" And I reply, "No."
And she makes a frowny face and says, "But there isn't any more..."
And we look and low and behold the girl has finished all her water!! We were so excited and laughing. It was very funny...but maybe you just had to be there?

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I told you so...

Sometimes, it just feels good to have something happen that I forewarn D about...
Like today when I was mopping the floors I kept telling her to stay put. Just sit in the big armchair. Don't move because the floors are wet. I don't want you to slip and fall.
Did she listen? No. Before I could get the floors dry, she is skipping around on the floor and then all of a sudden - BAM!
Yup, she fell. She knew better than to howl. My girl's smart. She knows I just told her earlier not to run around on the wet floor...however, she also wanted to see if I would go coddle her and of course, I didn't.
She cried out a bit, not a "I'm hurt cry" but more of a "Did you hear me fall" cry. "Are you gonna come pick me up" cry.
I just said to her, "What did I tell you? I told you the floor was wet and that you'd fall...."
Is it wrong that I felt a little self-satisfied?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Ahh Waldorf - Part Deux

I know, I know. I keep raving about Waldorf. But it's because I believe that it truly has made a huge difference in mine and D's life! I am convinced that our trip out to NY was just so smooth sailing and pleasant because when I was visiting with friends, D was able to just occupy herself because now when she is in her own space, she tells stories to herself or sings. All of these things, she learned from Waldorf.
The rhythm in the classroom at Waldorf is such that every day, they have outdoor play, then circle time that lasts for about 15-20 minutes and it's the same songs and gestures (so the kids can actually learn them and have them ingrained in their little brains), then free play, snacktime and then storytelling time where the teacher tells the same story every day and she is not reading from a book but rather telling the story from her mind and using simple props to help the children imagine the story on their own.
I cannot tell you how heartwarming it is when I see D, for instance, taking my friend's reindeer figurine and a bird figurine and then just telling a story about what the two of them are doing. I wish I could've recorded it, but of course, got the thought too late and she was done with her storytelling.
Prior to Waldorf I felt she needed more attention and she would get more whiney and wanting to be part of the conversation. Not so much anymore.
Waldorf truly is a wonderful thing.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Red Eye

D and I flew to NYC on the redeye last week and she was a CHAMP! Yes, that's champ spelled in caps because my girl who always screams when people turn out the lights or whenever anyone tries to sleep was a perfect passenger. Our flight was at 9:25pm. I definitely had her take a nap in the afternoon and made sure it was an early one so she went down for nap directly after school. By 1:30pm she was sleeping. She woke up around 3:30pm and was happy as a clam, obviously super excited for NYC.
Also, I had told her days before that we would be taking the red-eye and people expect to sleep on that flight and that they would turn the lights out and we should all sleep. I think she listened intently.
At the airport, I pulled out a delicious snackie for her - a blueberry muffin made by her grandma 2, Mrs. D. Finally we boarded the flight. I'm pretty sure the television screens at each seat helped a bit but she was really tired by the time we boarded so I was able to convince her to close her eyes and sleep. Sure, it sucks to sleep on a plane but she probably got about 2 hours in.
After we arrived, she was still very sleepy but not one bit cranky. Just went along with getting our luggage, waiting very patiently in the taxi line, riding the taxi (she actually fell asleep for maybe 10 minutes in the taxi) and then when we got to S's apt (7am) and got settled I was able to convince her to close her eyes and go to sleep for the next two hours! Amazing.
This is the girl who never goes down for a nap willingly. She's been really good this trip! Thankfully!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Post - Do not read if you are sensitive

The other morning...after I went into D's room and she yelled at me for closing my eyes...(because I was tired cuz it was before 6am) I went into our room and commented to Greg - "Don't you just H-A-T-E her sometimes??"
And of course, G responded, "What? HATE? That's a strong word isn't it? No, I don't ever hate our daughter."
But as luck was on my side, that particular day D was feeling very needy and very upset and very wanting to cry and scream every five minutes. And in the afternoon, that was aimed totally at G. She did not want to have anything to do with him and would cry and scream and just be annoying. And I was able to look at him that after that and kind of say, "Uh-huh. Yeah. Remember what I said this morning? Yeah."
Yeaaaahhh, I just feel like that sometimes. I just do.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The hiding gnome

There seems to be a gnome flitting about our house hiding things. Oooh, but it's actually D at that age where she can move things around but sometimes just can't grasp the fact that she took something...
Case in point, the other day I was looking for our mini flashlight to take the dog for a walk. It usually sits on the front table but was not there. Immediately, I just think it's G and his penchant for always straightening.
Me: G, did you take the flashlight?
G: No, did you check the drawer in the kitchen?
Me: Yes, and it's not there. I remember seeing it on the front table but it's not there anymore..
Then to D: D, did you take it?
D: No.
Me looking around some more...then G says, D! You were playing with it today, weren't you? I think I saw her playing with it.
Me: D, did you take the flashlight??
D, thinking....then thinking and then a light bulb going off: Oh! Oh! It's here! I put it in my purse!
And she goes to pull it out of her purse.
(rolling my eyes now) This is one of the times where she actually remembers taking and misplacing something after some prodding from dad. How many other times have things gone missing? I seem to always be missing things nowadays.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


We finally decided to put D into the Waldorf in our area. We had put her in Riviera, hoping the free-spirited environment would pull her out of her shell and make her just as rambunctious as the other kids are. They are all excited to get to school, they throw their lunch packs on the lunch table and then run and play.
After four months at RP, D really never did stray far from "home base" the porch at the school. She tended to stay near her food, only venturing out minimally.
G and I thought she would probably thrive more at Waldorf.
Well I don't know if she is thriving (just yet - she only just started on Tuesday) but the inclusionary aspect of Waldorf really keeps her in the throes of the action. The older kids seem very nurturing and interested in D as well which is also helpful. This Waldorf actually is an all ages school since it is so small.
I have to say, on the first day (I stayed for the transition period) watching D jump right into Circle Time and participate in all the movements even if she didn't know the words really brought tears to my eyes. It's nice to know we made the right choice.