Friday, May 29, 2009 me, at least

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child states, "Sleep begets sleep", so the better your child naps, the better he will sleep at night. But, of course, every child is different so you have to determine what is a good nap for just your child I guess.
For the first part of this week, we were trying to put Dillon down a little later - 7pm instead of 6pm b/c we thought maybe that would help her to sleep through the night better (less hours to get through). While, just before that decision, she was kind of sleeping through the night with one feeding but then waking up around 5:30 or 6am every day (which I am a big fan of, Greg, not so much). But with the 7pm bedtime, she was STILL getting up for two feedings! once at 11pm/12am and then again at 4am. I think she's just used to getting up and feeding at 4am. Weirdest thing.
So, I said, let's just put her back to the 6pm bedtime. I put her to bed last night at 6pm and she slept through the night with one feeding! Amazing. I don't know if that's a fluke or not, but we shall see...of course, I am so wired to listen for her grunts and sighs that I still don't sleep that well b/c I am subconsciously just waiting for her to wake up at 4am to feed. Aaargh!
I must say, I do sleep a bit better, but not the best. Great sleep probably won't come until she's about...oh 18 and off to college? haah!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Uhh..visit lately?

Did anyone just see Greg's recent posting on his daughter's website? That last sentence is so mushy...
I mean, I love to hear her laugh too but would I let the whole world know? No. Heheeh.'s so random but it seems as if Dillon has really regressed. She refuses to go down for naps and cries and cries and cries. I have a sneaking suspicion that when Greg watches Dillon (which he has been doing a lot of since NYC), he spoils her. Carries her all the time and holds her until she good and asleep before putting her in her crib, which, by the way goes against standards for having your child learn how to self soothe.
Meanwhile...I must be the worst mother in the world. I STILL cannot tell what Dillon means when she cries. I think it must be because we feed her so much throughout the day that she never has a hungry cry??? Could that be it? I'm convinced that when she cries it's just to let us know she disapproves of what we are doing. Like, CRRYYY, don't leave me in this chair! CRRRYY, where are you guys? I need some entertainment! CRRYY, I'm tired.

Monday, May 18, 2009

First time away

I went to New York for 24 hours. My first time leaving my darling daughter and I was a bit teary-eyed. Of course, that was only for a second til I stepped foot off of the plane and onto my beloved New York City!! I love that city...though to be honest, I really wished Dillon and Greg could've been with me and that we were there for longer.
We will definitely be going back in August (when Dillon can hold her head up on her own). :o)
Besides meeting up with my friends, I, of course spent the rest of my time shopping for Dillon and Greg. My bag was a whole lot fuller on the way back than on the way there. I'm gonna have to pack an extra bag the next time I go out there.
Lord, let me never be the sort of person who just talks about my baby...errr...though I think I did A LOT of talking about Dillon. But, then again, even before having the baby I was never one to be caught up on current events. Maybe I should resolve to change that. :o)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Baby #2

Hahaha...did someone think we were onto Baby #2? Never! Well, one should never say never right?
Everyone is right. 3 months is the magical age. I am so in love with Dillon right now. I am pretty sure a lot has to do with the fact that she is not on my body 24/7 and that she sleeps in her crib and sleeps well through the night and is so smart and loves to talk and has discovered how to make pppfft noises with her mouth and does it all the time...and gets mad at us when we are not paying attention to her and is so content when she is in the center of things and gets to sit up and look around and learn things and see her environment.
Am I being ridiculous right now? Yeah. I am. I'm getting a LITTLE bit obsessed with my little one and I guess some people might call it the "Change". Have I experienced the "Change". Why...quite possibly so.
Do I think I would consider a second child? Eh, not at this moment but now I know why people DO have second children! It's because they must sit there and think, Now I know what I am doing! If I have a second child, I would do it all differently and smarter...and then they go and get pregnant and it all starts all over again - the great unknown because HELLLLOO?? Every baby is different! The first three months will always be torture and unpredictable. And if this first child has 10 years off my youthful appearance, the second child will surely do the same! Hah!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Funny how raising a baby is sort of like a series of Pavlovian experiments, right? We do things to condition or babies. Dillon has learned to sleep on her own. We have a nighttime routine - bath, play, feed and sleep and I play white noise in the background. When she goes through this sequence, she knows it's nighttime and sleeptime.
We are having a hard time getting her to go down for naps during the day though. Although, we have a different set of a lesser sequence, swaddle, a little bit of food (to keep her belly full) and rockabye baby CD, rather than white noise. Supposedly, she will eventually be conditioned so that when she hears the rockabye CD, it will indicate naptime to her and make her sleepy. However, I am guessing that right about now, the Rockabye CD indicates extensive amounts of crying..heheh.
It's a lot of a cause and effect type thing.
Now, don't get me wrong here. It is interesting and all that but...had I wanted to be a scientist (a la Pavlov), I would've studied to become one. Hehehe.

Sleep training

Before sleep training...

After sleep training...hahah..

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I think it's working

Daddy came home Friday night. I think Dillon might've smelled his scent and decided she would try to send her pleas to him to come pick her up. So, she didn't go down so well after her early morning feeding but we just let her cry and it was fine.
Saturday, we decided to start feeding her some formula before putting her down for her naps. Sure, most books say that's a no-no b/c then she associates sleep with eating beforehand, blah, blah. But I felt we had to do this in order to properly train her because otherwise, she'd get hungry whilst crying and that just doesn't help anyone. So, having had her belly full, she did go down pretty well for her naps, but then didn't nap for a long time. That's okay...however, throughout the day, she did seem to wake up still tired and a bit cranky though she did manage to squeeze out a couple smiles for us. I was also a little bit annoyed that at her 3pm nap she only napped for half an hour even though I know her belly was full and she could sleep for longer. Also, if she is crying when she wakes up and I pick her up, doesn't that negatively affect her training? Hmmm...
Anyhoo, she cried a little bit when I put her down to sleep for the night (again, I think it's the daddy thing. I think all babies will try to pull one over on any new person that is around), but she only cried for maybe 10, maybe 20 minutes. She also cried a little bit at the midnight feeding and at the 3am feeding but only for a couple of minutes. You can't fault a girl for tryin' to get some attention. Haha! It's just indicative of how smart she is and if you're not careful, you could really get taken advantage of!
At 5am, she woke up again. Mind you, I just put her down with a full belly at 3am so when Greg asked if he should go get her, I said, no. Just ignore her. She needs to go back to sleep and she did! Slept until 7am!
And, now for her morning nap, she has been sleeping since about 8:58am (after crying for about 20 minutes) and it's now 10:09am! Yeayyy! Progress! Progress!!
It's true what people say. It's really interesting to watch your child progress! Now, when she cries, I don't even flinch. She's learning!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

And so it continues

I keep forgetting that we are trying to undo 3 months worth of spoiling. Rome wasn't built in one day...
D will have her good times and her not so great times. Yesterday, Tina and I had a slight breakdown moment where we were both questioning what we were doing. Losing sight of the goal and that we've really come so far but we can't expect her to just take to sleeping on her own within a matter of days. D is really good at crying...and for a good long period. So, when we were both sitting around wringing our hands, Tina was good and talked me through the crying, reminding me of our progress so far and that it just takes time. Our little girl is extremely smart and really hates not being held. It's fine. She never remembers the crying episode and always wakes up with a smile. In fact, she seems to be thriving more now, smiling, laughing, cooing, trying to talk and always moving. My alternative would be to carry her forever...uh, no thanks. Carry on. :o)
Tina then remembers that she has a close gf that is a professional nanny! So she called her up for reassurance and we're all good.
D is best at night. She is sleeping so well at night now, but our nap times aren't so great. She cries and cries and cries. She is crying now as I am typing, but I know she's fed, she's dry and she's comfortable.
A video monitor is KEY for this kind of endeavor. It allows me to see if D is starting to wind down from her crying based on whether or not her legs are kicking. If she is crying and her legs have stopped moving then I know she will fall asleep very shortly...most of the time. Again, as always with babies, nothing is guaranteed and every day, every hour is different.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Mother's instinct

It's so funny that before Greg left for his business trip, he says, "Honey, I'm really glad that Tina's staying to help out, but if she ever suggests anything that doesn't sit right with you, don't be afraid to just say no. I know how hard it is for you to say no to people. You're Dillon's mom. Trust yourself." Does he know who he's talking to? Um, hehehe! Surprise! Yes, it IS hard for me to say no to people. Once (at band camp..ha!) when we were out walking, some new neighbors came out and we said hello. The woman swooped in and was like, "Oooh! What a cute baby!" And proceeded to reach out her hand to touch her face. Err..hello? Not supposed to do that. I was aghast but speechless. Didn't want to be rude, and well, she did use the back of her hand very gently...
Greg was none too happy with me. "Belinda, don't ever let a stranger touch our daughter. What is wrong with you?" Me, rather sheepishly, "Well, I didn't want to be rude..." Greg: It was rude of her to touch the baby. Don't let anyone do that again. Whooopsies! Agreed!!
Anyhow, yes. I am beginning to find my groove as Dillon's mom. I do listen to Tina but I think sometimes her suggestions might not be the best so I just don't do it. She's kind and doesn't force the issue. She is soo good, that Tina. And I guess I am just now starting to realize that baby rearing is not cut in stone. All books, website, etc can't be expected to be followed to a T! I am only just now realizing this from talking to my other wonderful gf, Jennifer who is an amazing mom to new twins and a three year old. She just does whatever works and you know what? That works for me!! hehehe! I know, I know...sounds pretty stupid, but I gotta tell ya. This baby thing is the HARDEST I have ever worked for anything. Copious amounts of reading (textbook like which I hate), research, loss of sleep from thinking so much...rolling my eyes now.
I DO know what's best for Dilly because I LOVE HER! Yup! Took almost three months for this little peanut to grow on me but she has.

Monday, May 4, 2009

So confused..., here's where I'm at. First of all, we had the calm before the storm last night, which was just as well b/c then Greg left with a sense of hope. When I put D down for her nighttime sleep, she went right to her bassinet! Amazing. Not one peep. Naturally, that was because she had cried so much in the afternoon, she was too pooped to pop.
Last night and today was a wreck. This girl can CRY. I mean, even Tina was saying how she's not like other babies. HOWEVER, might I add that (in accordance to what my gf Lo had said), Tina also noted that Dillon is much more advanced than most babies her age so super smart which might be why she continues to think she can manipulate us and is hyper sensitive to touch and stuff.
Dillon cries and cries and cries.
I see that some of my friends have commented on my last post, Thank goodness for Tina. Well, would you believe that I had to counsel HER today? She is now feeling so bad when D cries and just wants to run in and hold her. Hello? Very counterproductive...
I'm now the one telling her, no, you must stay out of the room. We can't be in the room b/c D will not stop crying. She is obstinate. Not to mention, I can't have her in the room or anyone for that matter b/c that is just stimulation for Dillon as she just thinks they will play with her. Despite all her crying, dear Dillon is always ready with a smile for someone who comes in and smiles at her and she's played with them before.
Today at dinner, while we were listening to D cry and cry and cry, Tina looked like she was going to cry. I had to say to her, Tina, if you can't tune out her cries, I'm going to have to send you home. Hehehe!
I mean, I understand what she is feeling. If she didn't feel bad, there would be something wrong with her. Who can sit and listen to a baby cry without wanting to comfort her? No one but a MOTHER can do it b/c it is for the baby's well-being!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Detachment Parenting - Day 1

Haha, that title is not to be taken literally...It's really because I am so committed to my child that I am letting her cry herself to sleep to learn how to sleep on her own. Unlike most babies, who are content to sleep just because their mother is nearby or they are on her, mine fidgets while on me and wakes herself up! Thereby, missing out on crucial naptime. Additionally, she will not just sleep because I'm holding her, I have to rock her, etc so getting her to sleep on her own will be beneficial to all parties involved!
We started sleep training Dillon today thanks to the wonderful words of encouragement from my father's new wife. D cried loud for maybe 1/2 an hour. Then slept for half an hour but the minute I walked out of the room, we got maybe 5 minutes and she was awake. See, when I read the Baby Whisperer, she says that babies are not in their deep sleep (REM I guess) until 20 minutes. So, whatever you do be prepared to invest 20 minutes of it in order to make sure the baby is fully asleep before you move onto other things.
Well, in Dillon's case, I'm beginning to notice that it takes her THIRTY minutes and why? Because I think she spends the first 10 minutes of shut eye, winding down but fully alert with ears and touch to make sure that you are not leaving her. When she is good and satisfied that you are there and as sleep takes over, then we can start counting the minutes.
When she woke up the second time, I tried to get her to go back to sleep but after about 15 minutes, it was coming up on her feeding time so I fed her, played with her for a short time and then it was back to bed.
Surprise! She cried for maybe less than three minutes and fell asleep! She slept for about 30 minutes and then woke up. I think because I had stopped rocking her at 20 minutes (this was before I came up with my realization that D takes 30 minutes to fall into deep sleep). Well, by this time Tina and Greg had come home and though Tina means well, I think she forgets that babies are easily stimulated so while Dillon was having a minor meltdown, Tina continued to talk to her and then my dad came in and it was just a little bit of pandemonium. Finally, I just said, "Don't you think there's too many people in here??"
And Tina immediately realized and said, "Oh yes! Let's get out of here."
It took a while to get Dillon to go down, maybe 15, 20 minutes, but she did finally fall asleep and now has been sleeping for almost 2 hours!
That's TWO HOURS that I had free! I didn't have to hold her. My world did not have to stop. It's amazing.
And now, Tina has agreed to stay with me while Greg is away all next week! For emotional support! I'm so excited!
Umm, Rocky was just in here licking his bone, playing and then heard a noise and barked! Dillon is still sleeping. Amazing.

Saturday, May 2, 2009


I realize that I have inadvertently spoiled my daughter. Just the sheer fact that neither Greg nor I have to leave the house to work, this girl received no structure in her young life thus far. Hmm, maybe that and the myriad of web message boards and etc. touting how important it is to pamper your child, cuddle her when she needs it. Attend to her every cry. Hello?? No, that is not the correct way to parent.
My father explained it in a very smart way today. He said, a baby cries b/c it is her only way of communication. She'll cry to let you know if she's hungry, tired, wet, cold, hot, whatever. But, she will also cry because she is looking for comfort that is most agreeable to her. That statement there, that is the key. "wanting what is most comfortable to her" which at her young age (almost 3 months) is to be ON her mother 24 hours a day. That is not acceptable. And for the majority of women, they just never even entertain that cry because they have to get back to work so that baby is going to learn independence and to self soothe very quickly. My daughter on the other hand has been workin' us! Oh, she must just feel so smug that she's got her mommy and daddy wrapped around her precious little finger.
My father and his new wife are in town this weekend and Tina (the wife) was very sympathetic to me while I stood around rocking my baby til she fell asleep and still rocking away while she sleeps. Tina said, "You need to just let that baby cry. It doesn't hurt them, in fact it helps them." She had her baby trained by one month of age and that baby slept well, ate well and was smiling and happy all the time. In fact, complete strangers would compliment her on how well behaved and happy her baby was. Umm, yes. I want that.
I am so excited to start training this girl! Ohh, what it will be like to just put her down in her bed and have her fall asleep on her opposed to rocking her for 40 minutes plus and then waiting and waiting to make sure she's good an asleep before putting her down. Those days will be over very shortly! Yippee for progress!!
Attachment parenting enthusiasts...need to get a life. :o) Bitter much? Why, yes....