Thursday, December 30, 2010

Potty training

Hey, I think we're kind of getting the hang of peeing in the potty! The other week, D was running around without her diaper on and she ran right over to her potty and peed! Yeay! We were all so proud and made a very big deal. Then, the other day she's pretending to go potty while mommy's in the bathroom and she actually did go pee in her potty! Again, very big deal! Called Daddy in to see and also make a big hullabaloo! Baby steps here.
Oh yeah, and the other week when she had so smartly gone to the potty to pee all on her own, she also did poop on the floor later without even batting an eye. It was as if she didn't even know she had poop coming out behind there. Just stood there. Odd. But like I said, baby steps.
This morning, I took D's diaper off and it seemed rather dry still so I asked her if she wanted to go pee on the potty. I took her into the bathroom. Told her to wait a minute while I find her a book and before I even got back, she had peed in her potty! Yeayyy!! Again, a very big deal all around. We even went upstairs to wake Daddy to tell him the good news!
Truly, this has just been experimentation since the book I am reading says the two signs that a child is ready to be potty trained is 1) She tells you when she has a dirty diaper and needs to be changed (D does not do that. In fact she seems to be perfectly content to sit in her own poop til someone discovers) and 2) she should be able to pull on and off her own pants. (well, that seems like a "duh") So right now we are just doing whatever and this whatever just seems to be working.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

An independent spirit

D has such a wonderful independent spirit in her. We just went to Chattanooga for a few days to take D swimming at a hotel that had an indoor pool. There's also a great discovery museum for kids there, plus some great dining for mom and dad.
I mean, this is what I love about D and her independence. She was watching a little girl jumping and swimming in the pool and D just wanted to take off and do the same. She kept saying, "Bao Bae tse chi yo yong." (Bao Bae swim by herself). I had to keep explaining to her that if I let her go, she would sink so instead kept trying to teach her how to hold her breath. Not an easy feat after all she can't really tell what I am doing when I hold my breath...if only we could color our breath...
Today we took her to a bouncy indoor play area called Monkey Joe's. D loved it and was running around and running around. She just was so crazed because she knew she couldn't hurt herself if she fell. It was awesome to see.
What was really funny was - there were these cars that you could ride for a quarter and of course, D loves to pretend like she's driving a car. (the more to be like Mom, I'm sure). But she doesn't just sit in the car and turn the wheel. She really turns that wheel with purpose. I mean, I looked at G and said, "Uhh, she is clearly going to be a speed demon when she grows up..." I don't know where she gets it from. I am a pretty mellow driver. I am certainly never speeding, but I think it's just innate in D to just be passionate. And maybe a little bit crazy.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Sugar high?

Christmas brunch:
Can't leave without eating dessert...which means, D too! She had some mini pumpkin pie, some chocolate dipped strawberries and rice krispy treats, Daddy topped off with a bite of some kind of berry tart and some kind of chocolate something or other.
Daddy: It's Christmas. It's fine if she indulges...can't wait to see when the sugar high kicks in.
Mommy: Hmm, really? I don't know. I don't think I ever see any hyperactivity ensue after she eats the muffins that I make or cookies. And that has sugar. Maybe it's the high fructose corn syrup. (shrug) We'll see.
Some minutes later in the elevator, D is jumping up and down.
Daddy: Here's the sugar high.
Mommy: Really? That fast? I'm not sure. She always likes jumping in elevators.
At home, it's naptime. Mommy puts D into her crib and shuts the door.
As usual, D chats to herself for a bit...
Then...(bang! bang! boom!) Apparently, D is jumping up and down in her crib so forcefully we can hear the crib knocking against the wall. Since there is no way to see her, we can only imagine she is "bouncing off the walls" a bit and then loud singing of "Jingle Bells!! Jingle Bells"
Ahh, there it is. There is the sugar high.
Mommy: Nice that D can work off her sugar high in her crib...and then fall asleep.
:o) Smiles all around.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Parenting myths

This is a funny video from I enjoyed it since it's a little bit along the same lines as why I write my blog. Because parenting is not all sugar and sweet and roses...and why don't people tell you that? I always forewarn people that are pregnant, "Oooh, you don't want to talk to me. I have nothing good to say about the birthing, the parenting, the first few months..."

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sittin in the lap of luxury

I just recently attended a friend's holiday party where I met this woman who had just given birth to a new baby - 12 days old to be exact. This woman looked fantastically rested and relaxed. I was amazed, of course (because I'm sure I didn't ever leave the house for the first month except to go to the dr and I'm pretty sure I didn't look so glowing). I asked her "What gives?"
She replied, "I live with my parents!" And went on to describe how wonderful it is because her mom has been a huge help. When the baby wakes up for a feeding in the middle of the night, her mother tiptoes in and gets the baby, feeds him, rocks him, tends to him.
I have another friend who recently gave birth and same scenario - baby is wonderful, life is wonderful. So easy. Piece of cake. And she too, has the luxury of her mother coming to care for the baby every Thursday and sometimes on weekends too!
THAT is certainly the secret of great parenting - when YOUR parents care for the child early on.
The problem for me in this equation is, have you met my mother? Yeah, no. She is not the nurturing kind (for that matter, have ya met me? yeah no. Not the nurturing kind.) As children we were never coddled and really, it takes the coddling kind to really want to take care of your kids, right? I am of the ilk - Hey, I raised you. I'm pretty sure I don't want to have to raise your kids too.
Luckily, for us G's mother is still a caregiver/caretaker. She still very much takes care of her husband (my parents are divorced), her family, her kids and when G's sister had her kids, her mother was really helpful. At the very least taking care of the meals and the house, etc.
Again, the problem with handing my child off to someone else to care for lies with me. I have a problem allowing someone else to care for D. It must be that control thing - "nobody else can do it as well as I would." Tsk! Tsk! Very bad trait to have. Really.
I mean, case in point - we were recently in Florida with G's parents. We were really tired so as soon as we got in, G's mom had announced, "We will take over entertaining D! You guys go get some rest!" So, we took a nap. Upon waking, the whole world had not collapsed! D was fine. G's mom reported they had gone to the grocery store, they walked around outside, D ate, she pooped. All was good.
Then, later as I was changing D's diaper, her butt was dirty! The butt crack was not cleaned properly (from when she had pooped). Eww! I did not make a big deal, but in my mind, I certainly filed that one away as "Upp, see, she's just not as good as I am (about cleaning up after D...)" So, of course, in the future I will still have reservations about leaving D alone with the grandparents! Sad. Well, I'm sure I'll reconsider when she's four.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Attachment parenting

Well, those who know me know that I am not a big fan of attachment parenting. Dr. Sears be damned! Who is HE to tell us that wearing our babies 24/7 is the proper way to nurture a child?? Sure, there are plenty of other cultures that do wear their newborns on their bodies for at least a year, but those are often underdeveloped countries where the mothers are probably out hunting and gathering too so having a baby strapped to your back is no big deal. Have you ever tried carrying your baby and typing on a computer? Or conduct a conference call? Not too much fun. How about cook a meal over hot fire with oil sparking up? Kind of dangerous.
When my friend, who kind of just fell into attachment parenting because she kind of just LOOVES her son too much to put him down was out visiting once, she did quote a part in the Dr. Sears book that says something to the effect of "you are hindering your child's development process when you let them CIO because they are wasting precious energy crying rather than being calmly nurtured and cuddled in their mothers arms."
That is ridiculous. On the contrary, I don't think D ever slept well while sleeping in my arms. A baby needs to sleep in order for her brain to develop and I don't believe that babies sleep long and hard while being carried. Unless, as a mother you too are sleeping? Who can sleep deeply in/on a moving vehicle? Whether it be a car or a mother?
But I digress. Suffice it to say I am not a fan of attachment parenting. However...somehow this child of mine is VERY ATTACHED to me. A mom friend of mine remarked the other day that a) she was surprised that D wasn't in the same room as me (sarcasm)...and then b) said, "Uhh, D is VERY ATTACHED to you."
Ummm. Yeah. She kind of is. What is up with that??
Well, if I do a little introspection (which I do a lot of...) I really have dug my own grave. It is not so much D that is attached to me I guess but rather I have spent the entirety of her life being attached to her! I know that I try to schedule my runs, my errands, my time away from her during her nap times or after she goes to bed. I tell myself that G has to work so I try not to make him have to watch her during working hours. But really, we all know G doesn't work THAT hard and he is fully capable of watching and caring for D for extended periods of time.
It's funny. People will say, "Ooh, that's so nice that the both of you work from home so D gets to spend time with both of you." That is true in a way, but what really has happened is that D gets me practically 100% of the time and then she just spends pockets of time with her dad. And even those pockets of time are not solo. I am always around. And because I get breaks throughout the day (when G plays with her) there is never that sense of "Here! You take her." That most stay at home moms get when they've been tending to their child all day and Daddy finally gets home.
That's one reason. Another could be because I am a bit of a control freak and I dunno, kinda need to have D with me as much as possible? Or could it really be that I love spending time with this child? Come on now? Really? Me? But, I don't like kids...
The reality is, yes, I love this child. I want to hug her and squeeze her and roll her up into a little ball to fit into my pocket! But, because I spend so much time with her, I start to get irritated over how what once were easy tasks are now made more difficult because I (have) to drag her around. I can't just run out to the store to grab something. I can't just walk through a grocery store and get the things I need and run out. Every task is a process. And yet, on the other hand the reward that comes from letting this process run its course is part of the fun, isn't it? Seeing how she discovers every little thing around her and calls everything that's spiral a snail or everything that has an open mouth a hippo that's yawning.
I'm conflicted.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Who ignores a hysterically crying baby??!!

I DO! That's who!! Uggh last night was horrible!! First of all, I should've minded my first instinct (at 12:30am) which was to ignore her cries and let her cry it out. But when I was listening to her cries, she at one point said, "Wo Ai Ne, Mama..." (That would be "I love you, Mama", for those reading that are not familiar with the Chinese language...) So, obviously my heart sank and I had to go in. Plus, I was not sure if she maybe had pooped. Considering, once when she was very young and we were in the midst of CIO training, she had cried out in her sleep and I ignored only to walk in in the morning to find D had puked. Whoops.
I went in, picked her up. Held her for a bit and then put her back down and told her she had to go back to sleep. I told her I would sleep next to her on the floor. She eventually fell asleep and I left the room. 10 minutes later, she's screaming bloody murder again! Uggh. So, back I go, into her room dragging my comforter with me. This time, though I change her diaper since I'm now thinking maybe her wet diaper is bothering her. This time, she is not having ANY of the "I'll be sleeping next to you on the floor." She is screaming at the top of her lungs, clearly very distraught and disappointed that I won't pick her up. Finally, I pick her up to see if she will actually sleep next to me on the floor.
The answer to that (which I knew) was obviously, No. And, she got up with a big smile like "Hey, it's morning! Let's go play!" Uhh, no. It was about 2 in the morning. Finally, I bucked up, put her in her crib and walked out the door. Ready to just let her cry it out. I HAD to! I know she does not actually sleep if I am holding her or even if I am sleeping next to her. She somehow manages to sleep with one eye open if I am anywhere near.
This time...this time when I leave the room she is hysterical! I mean, HYSTERICAL and crying and screaming "Where are you Momma?!! Where are you Momma?!" Oh gawd, the torture.
Thankfully, it is G who holds his wits about him and very sternly just states, "She needs to sleep. She needs to just cry it out." So...we wait and we wait and she cries and she cries. I finally feel like she has calmed down and has fallen asleep and I finally fall asleep around 3am. G informs me that he continued to hear her cries (even when she wasn't crying) for the rest of the morning. But, that she actually did give one last cry around 3:15am and then fell asleep for good.
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT??! Anyhoo..poor girl had the worst puffy cry eyes in the morning. And, I think she held a bit of a grudge. I looked at her this morning and said, "Hi baby. You look very tired..." She looked at me with a bit of a "glare" (maybe daggers?) and turned her entire body away from me. Whoops again. What is a mother to do?

A feat

You know what's a real feat when there's a toddler in the house? NOT breaking your own neck! There is CRAP all over this place. Little pieces of what-nots all over the house that I am either stepping on, kicking or tripping over. Sure, I could be a little more diligent about picking up, but isn't it more fun to see how coordinated we can be in balancing and rebounding after tripping? It keeps the brain working...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Running up the stairs

Now whyyyy would I ask D to come upstairs with me "real quick" to get something?? "Real quick" and D don't quite mix...
D jumps up and says, "Yeah!!" Then she happily steps on the first step, then starts counting, "Two, Three, Four..." And then looks to the left and says, "Bye-bye Humphrey. We'll see you later. Bye-bye Ya-ya (duck). We'll see you later." What she's looking at to our left would be her play area that pretty much has all her toys. So, you see how this process of saying bye-bye to all her stuffed animals would pretty much make my trek upstairs a moot process.
Why do I do that to myself? Oh yeah, that's right. Because nature has made a mother's brain mush so she constantly forgets all the stupid things that happen so instead of taking steps to avoid, we go and do it again. Kinda like getting pregs again. Now whyyy would I do that? Oh yeah, that's right - cuz I forget how painful and irritating childbirth was...right?

Monday, December 6, 2010

Noooo, I don't want toooooo...

Okay, let's get something straight here, D. I don't know where you got that phrase from (me, perhaps), but you better unlearn it fast.
"Noooo I don't want tooooo...." all day, every day. All sing-songy and whiney. And for effect, she sometimes throws herself down on the floor. Great...

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I working

Oh goodness...oftentimes D plays and will walk around with a little tote hanging from her arm and say, "Bye! I leaving. I go working." Yes, we know she gets that from daddy running off to work some days. But today, today takes the cake. She is sitting down in front of daddy's computer and saying, "I working!" Then, she asks daddy where his phone is. She gets his cell phone, puts it up to her ear and starts typing on the computer saying, "I working!" Now, that she gets from mommy. That's crazy.
But a funnier story is when we were in Puerto Rico with our friends last week. They have an almost three year old son. One night as we were all hanging out, we had the music playing and D right now looves to dance. So she's dancing around and we tell D's little friend, A to dance. He looks around, finds the mini remote control for the iHome and holds it to his ear like a phone then starts bouncing up and down and dancing! Whaaat??!! And when A puts the mini remote down, D proceeds to pick it up and dance around with the "cell phone" to her ear.
Amazing...really. And it really is funny to see because there would be times where D and A will be sitting next to each other on the couch, silent, both intently staring at the iPhones in their palms. A is watching a movie and D is playing games on mommy's phone.
And yet, we look at each other and here we are - Daddy's on his iPad, A's dad is on his iPad...then we are passing A's iPad around playing Scrabble among all of us. What technology-laden lives we lead.