Dealing with adversity

We just spent a week in Portland visiting some friends who have two sons - one is six and one is four. The four year old is a real mean-spirited guy sometimes. So at the beginning of the week, whenever J would do anything - like grab D's toy and keep it from her, D would cry or turn to me and say something like, "Mammmaaa, J took my toy." And I would respond, "Well, did you want to ask him to give it back?" D: "Can you give me back my toy?" J: "No." Me: Well, D, you'll just have to find another toy to play with since these are J's toys...etc. etc. Sometimes, J's mom would jump in to try and get him to share, but sometimes not and then we'd all have to move on somehow. At the end of the week, however, I could see that D was really starting to understand J's motives and was not going to let him have the satisfaction. (Proud moment!!) There was one instance where J scrambled up a monkey bar which he knew was too big for D and then told her she couldn't sit next to him. She called out to me and said, "Mama.." I replied, "Yes" as I was walking to her and she looks at J and then looks away yonder and says to me, "Look at those dinosaur eggs over there!" Thereby, not giving J the satisfaction of letting on that she was bugged by his action! Seriously! That was a proud moment for me. In my mind, I was thinking, "Good for you!!" Then D and I just went off to play something else and J had to come trailing after. Awesome.