Saturday, February 28, 2009

Breast milk

Oh and another thing! Dillon is on my breast all the time. And for long periods of time. I'm told that 10-20 minutes per breast is usually sufficient. She will stay on for like 1/2 an hour sometimes close to 50 minutes at times! Eeks! That makes me worried that perhaps I am not producing enough breast milk? But then she is pooping and peeing regularly too so she can't be too bad off? Of course I guess we won't know until her next dr appt in two weeks when they check her weight. I hate being a worried parent, by the way. Hello? I have lived my whole life thus far without a worry or care in the world. Stress is a foreign word to me. Not anymore...with this new baby, her life so reliant on my cognizance at being a parent. I am constantly worried. I haaate it!
Oh, and by the way, I sometimes want to murder Greg because HE is always too worried about her and so delicate. She's a baby. She's pretty sturdy. Stop treating her like fine china...umm, he just now looked over at me to say as he is holding her, "I feel bad that her face is smooshed into my chest." My response, "She likes it like that. She's comfortable." His reply, "I know, but I just worry that she's smooshing her features." WHAT?? Are you kidding me right now?
Yes, he might be getting on my last nerves because I don't get that much sleep AND I'm worrying that this girl is getting enough food and that I am getting enough food to fuel her food!

The boppy

Greg's sister told us a great new trick! She used to drape her daughter across the boppy and had her nap like that. Hey! That works! We've tried the swing chair, the vibrating chair, Greg swings her in her car seat to put her to sleep...and yet, here is this easy trick. She's sleeping peacefully. Oh wait, I spoke too soon. She just woke up and wants to be on the breast, yet again. cute as she is, sometimes I just get tired of being at this baby's beck and call. And I refuse to neglect my longtime babies - the bullies. Rocky now is super needy and wants to sleep on my body too. I am so surprised at how incredibly jealous he is! I mean, I had predicted that Boulder would accept the new baby and he's been pretty good. I mean, for him it's probably par for the course - he went through Rocky's arrival, now this new baby. He gets it. But Rocky wants to sit on my body whenever he can get the chance. He hates to see the baby on my body all the time. As I sit here on the floor typing, Rocky is lying next to me with his head in my lap. The minute I start to walk towards my office (where their couch sits), he is up and running with me. He just wants to sleep on me. It's hard to be so torn.

Friday, February 27, 2009


All babies want to nap on can see why I am extra tired. :o)

2 week check up at the pediatrician's

Dillon went to see her pediatrician yesterday for her two week visit.

She's doing well! Gained another two ounces, though they were a bit concerned considering the baby is at my breast about 14 times in a 24 hour day and apparently, that is a bit excessive? I mean, sure she's using me as a pacifier, but given that, they would think that she would've gained more weight. Uh-oh..I wonder if I'm producing enough milk. Maybe not because I can hardly find time to eat since I have to hold the baby while she is nursing and she is constantly nursing.
Greg and I are now trying to recondition her to take a pacifier (going well sometimes) and also to sleep in a spot separate from mommy or daddy's body. These are the dr's orders. Currently, she is sleeping right through the vacuuming of this house.
It's refreshing having female drs because they can give me their perspectives from a mother's point of view. So far, whenever Greg and I have had questions regarding the baby, her development, how best to approach breastfeeding, crying babies, etc we've gone online ( is a great site), but I swear all these sites with advice are from male drs. Happiest Baby on the Block - great DVD on how to swaddle your baby and comfort her, but again, a man's perspective. You can never spoil a fetus. Let your baby do what she wants because she's just getting accustomed to her new world...don't let her cry and fuss...etc. We read those articles and think, Yes. That makes sense. We should just let her learn and grow on her own time. Then I take that philosophy into the dr's office and she's looking at us like, "Uh, no. Not a good idea." So, here we are retraining her. I still didn't have the heart to put her in her own bed last night because she had had such a long day, lots of crying at the drs office, us messing with her trying to get her to sit in a swing, etc so she got to sleep with mommy. But, maybe tonight we'll try putting her in her own bassinet. Also, how in the world am I supposed to keep my child awake between the hours of 7pm and 9pm?! If she sleeps then, then she tends to wake up in the middle of the night to feed. Oh, wait, here I go again...trying to condition her. Oh..what is right and what is wrong?? Oh yeah, and who am I kidding? If we are putting her in the bassinet tonight, it's gonna be a loooong night. Who wants babies??! Seems more like self torture.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The other day Greg looked at me and said, "Honey, they say these are the most precious moments. They are so fleeting and they grow up so fast. Before you know it, we will be missing these baby moments." I looked at him and said, "No, I don't think so...I don't think I'll miss her baby ways. I really just want her to be 2 years old already..." Hey, I'm just being honest. I'm not gonna lie. Sure, Dillon is sooo cute. She makes the cutest baby noises and is so cute when she is sleeping and then stretching and making these cute grunting/stretching noises. My favorite though, which I think already she has outgrown, is this tiniest of "HMMPH" noises she makes. When she has been crying BIG, like when she's gotten her diaper changed and she's starving and I finally put her on my boob, she's still huffy and then she blows air out of her nose and sort of lets out this cute, high pitched little HMMPH!
At the end of the day, as cute as this child is she is SO DEPENDENT on me that I can hardly stand it. I can't even go to the bathroom when I want because if no one is around, I have to hold her. She can't hold her head up yet even. So, yeah I can't wait til she gets a bit older.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

12 days old and one week at home

We have a blog for Dillon Marie, but I thought it only appropriate that my friends get the mommy's perspective of all things Dillon Marie. Of course, this is for my friends eyes only and not D's daddy's eyes because some things that I say may break his heart. When Greg looks at his baby, you can just see that his heart melts at the sight of her and this child can do nothing wrong in his eyes. He is wholly and completely in love with this child. His very first and with good reason cuz, I don't want to brag, but c'mon...she is pretty darn cute, right?
This first entry will be pretty long because I'm already 12 days behind in recording the events of Dillon's debut.

I was in labor for about 21 hours (the last five under the soft blanket of epidural) and after not dilating any more from 6cm and needing to be at 10cm before you can start pushing, the dr is recommending that we consider c-section b/c now the baby's showing signs of distress and I have not made any progress. So, we go with the c-section and thank goodness we did because when the doctor pulled her out, it turns out the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice! That was what was preventing her from moving further down the birth canal, thus preventing my own cervix to continue dilating. Oh, what a stressful situation, BUT I am kind of happy that I got to experience it all - labor (sucks), epidural (heavenly), c-section (big fan). Hah! I mean, I hear that recovery is much quicker when one gives birth vaginally, but hey...I'll take c-section please. Labor really blows!! Of course, please don't take my word for it. Everyone should go through labor at least once b/c everyone's pain tolerance is different and everyone's labor pains I think are different. I have several friends that give birth vaginally, many without epidural even so my respect to those girls cuz I certainly couldn't pull it off and would never deign to try it again! No thanks! Hah!
We spent five days in the hospital - the perfunctory three days of recovery after a c-section and then two extra days. Turns out Dillon had a bit of jaundice so she had to stay one more day to sit under the heat lamps. I wish I had taken picture of her b/c it was so cute. They stick these white "sunglasses" on her and sun her under the lights and she just looks like a little diva by the pool. I too, had to stay in the hospital two extra days because it seems I developed an allergic reaction to the betadyne dye that they use on your belly in prep for the c-section. I was going a bit stir crazy in that hospital and poor Greg was shuttling back and forth between hospital and house to do some work, visit with the baby, shuttle my mom back and forth too so she can visit Dillon and me at the hospital.
Okay, can we talk about the first night back from the hospital? First thing - when we were headed to the hospital to give birth, one of greg's friends gave us some sound advice. When the nursery comes to take your baby from you for the night. Let them. You will need the sleep. Plus, if you want to keep your baby in your room you will have to keep the lights on all night b/c they want to make sure that there is always vigil over your newborn that they are still breathing, etc. Greg can't sleep with the lights on so off to the nursery Dillon goes. The newborn baby needs to feed very 3 hours in the night time so the nursery takes the baby and they can either feed your baby for you (formula) or they will reel her back in to you every three hours so you can breastfeed her. We opted for option two.
Well ladies...I don't know what the nursery was doing in those three hours with my baby, but she did not just feed every three hours. My first night back from the hospital was a rude...rude awakening. I was up every hour on the hour feeding this child and when I wasn't feeding, then I was changing her diaper. And with the diaper change, she's grumpy and needs to be appeased so back on the breast she went. What an ordeal! BUT, all the sucking and switching between breasts apparently builds in your milk supply so who am I to complain. It's hard to believe that a mother is always producing breast milk whether the breasts feel full or not and in fact, when your baby nurses on one breast when it is not engorged, she is actually getting a fattier version of the milk which fills her up more and doesn't just run through her system.
Anyhoo...motherhood. Every day is different. I think that might be the most adjusting that I am experiencing - the lack of organization, regiments. Something that works one day might not work the next. However, one thing that works great? Having Dillon sleep on my body at night. She sleeps straight through the night, 4-5 hours! Yippee! I mean, most pediatricians caution against that because she then looks to me to sleep, but I feel like she is just a wee babe and she has time later to recondition herself to sleep in her own bed. :o)