Thursday, April 2, 2009


Why do people congratulate you when you are pregnant and when you have a baby? Pregnant - Congratulations! You are going to get progressively grossly obese for the next ten months of your life, with a little bit of nausea to start you off. You are going to be an emotional wreck and could possibly jeopardize your relationship, leaving you a single parent before your tyke has even hatched. Your feet and legs will swell up to the size of tree trunks and to end this lovely phase, you get to experience the most excruciating pain you will ever experience in your entire choice. Then, if you've had a c-section, you can expect swollen limbs, constipation and a terrible bout of gas that moves into places in your body you never thought possible. (Mine was in my back near my shoulder.)
And then, comgratulations! You have now just given birth, meaning you electively chose to engage in a roller coaster ride of sleepless nights, bouts of confusion and self-doubt that you are even capable of doing anything right.
Yes...congratulations...yeah, thanks. I am currently writing this at 4:55am, with one finger pecking out the words after I have spent the last hour and a half consoling my daughter who seems to get terrible gas or stomach pains at 3am-ish every day for the past three days. NOTHING consoles her and you can't do anything to help her out. All the conventional advices had been tried and exhausted to no avail. Finally, she sleeps and I can't b/c if I put her down, she wakes up and if I lie down, she wakes up. Well, I would possibly try it, but I don't want to have her wake Greg up. And...she's up again! Back to shushing and walking. Ta-ta...congratulations to me.


  1. Bel,
    I am just going to cut & paste your blog & put it into mine when my baby comes b/c ALL your experiences & thoughts are just like mine!!! People who find out I'm pregnant say, "How exciting!" & I'm like, "mmmmmhmmm...exciting my ass...." ;-D I'm not excited to head into my third trimester (my ankles/feet were so swollen that STRANGERS would be alarmed when they saw them); get semi-paralyzed & cut open nor re-do the newborn thing...or the toddler thing....but oh yes, how I do love my TL more than ANYTHING in the whole wide world & I know I will be the same with the little girl!!!

  2. perhaps even more so b/c while I've never had a baby boy, this baby girl makes the CUTEST little baby girl noises! Do boys do that??