Uhhh, I made that statement the other day to my hairdresser. She was pretty appalled. I mean, I am just a straight up honest person and I "tell it as it is."
And I guess she kind of made me realize that maybe that's not the best thing to say.
We were talking about babies and the possibility of having another one and I had said we were trying but a small part of me wonders if maybe sub-consciously I'm not getting pregs because I really didn't like the baby stage.
So, she had said, "Okay, well you should just say you don't like the baby stage. You probably shouldn't be saying out loud that you don't like being a mom."
Well, I guess she is right. I mean, I certainly don't say things like that in front of D. I would never do that!
But what I really mean when I make that statement is just that being a mother is one of the toughest jobs I've ever really encountered and it's one that I can't walk away from. Y'know what I mean? Like, usually in life, if you don't like your job, quit and get a new one.
Not the job of mother. You're stuck with it. Well it's not so much that. Not only are you stuck with that job for life but it's the job where you can't just coast...or check out, if you will. You work at it and you work at it hard every single day.
And I have always been that sort of person that if this relationship isn't going well and we aren't communicating that well, I'll just walk. I don't need to work so hard to keep a tough friendship going. Welllll...not so much with baby. She's a baby. She's learning the ropes, learning how to exercise her opinions, her independence and I have to work hard at not wanting to scream my head off at her sometimes. And it's a constant battle to keep my patience about me and oftentimes, I just lose. G is always reminding me that I shouldn't scream at her so much and while I understand that, I also want him to understand that, for me, just screaming at her maybe twice a day is a HUGE accomplishment on my part. And he does understand. Phew.
But still I feel good if I've gotten through a day without a temper eruption. Wait, has that ever happened?