Is it bad to offer your child "conditions"...like, "If you don't take a nap then you won't get ice cream." But I don't like to dangle treats in front of her so I word it like so - "Honey, if you take a nap, when you wake you can have ice cream!" (It's banana ice cream btw, pure banana just frozen and put through the blender) And while she is having her fit and screaming, "muffin?? smoothie?? watermelon juice..." I am looking at her calmly and saying, "If you take a nap...only good babies that take naps get a smoothie..."
Is that bad? Is it just generally bad practice to bargain with your child? I'm not sure of the answer to that question. In my mind, I kind of think it is? But I'm not sure why?
In any case, I do appreciate D's ability to reason. Today, she decided she didn't want to take a nap. She went B-A-N-A-N-A-S when I put her in her in her crib. Usually, we just let her CIO a bit but this time she was taking it to the extreme and really digging in deep with her crying. Oh, I went to G to seek guidance and he was a stone - "She needs to sleep. Just let her cry."
But, alas, I tried to go in to reason with her. Got nowhere and then just ended up taking her out.
Truly, a wrong move because she was so whiney and cry-y...and then an email came in that said some of our mom friends were going to Fairytales, the book store, by our house for story time. Great! So, I told D we would go but first I'd have to clean up the kitchen. 2 seconds later, D asks if I can carry her. "Noooo...I have to clean the kitchen.." MELLLTDOWWWN. And, mind you G is on a work call so I drag her into her room and shut the door. At least if she's going to cry, G doesn't need to hear it. BANNNAANNAS again. She was out of control. I left her in there for all of one minute and then went in there to reason with her.
There was some REALLY loud talking by me...to get my point across over her bawling. And really I am yelling at her because there is absolutely no reason for her bawling except for the fact that she didn't take her nap! And all she wants is for me to pick her up and hold her. So, I do. And then I carefully explain to her that Daddy is on the phone so she needs to be quiet. There is no reason for her to be crying so please be quiet. "I can take you outside with me but I can't carry you because I need to clean the kitchen. Will you be quiet and sit on your step stool?"
D - "Yeah"
Me - "Okay, I'm going to take you out there but if you start crying again I will put you right back in this room and shut the door."
And you know what? I got silence from her the entire time I was cleaning. G came out from his office for a moment wondering if I had put her down for a nap. He was shocked that she was just sitting there quietly. Isn't the power of reasoning a beautiful thing?