Where did she go??

Where did that perfectly "compliant" daughter of mine disappear to? Oh, yes. She's discovered her voice and is exercising her right to speak her mind.
As her mother, of course I am shocked when she refuses some foods that I give her, says no when I ask her to do something...but of course, the girl does have a mind of her own and I need to accept that.
There's a lot of "no"s going on around here when we are eating and that just kills me of course because G and I are big foodies. I am thankful, however, that I can at least plead with her to at least eat a couple bites and she will do it so that's really all I can ask for right now.
Now as for getting her to do stuff...that's a whole 'nother battle to tackle. I'm trying to put into practice giving D options as opposed to ordering her around. It's all about having her make up her own mind versus just doing my bidding.
For instance, if she doesn't want to put on her shoes. Instead of yelling at her to put on her shoes. I say, "D you can either put on your shoes or we will not be going to school. Do you want to go to school?"
Yes.
Well if you don't put your shoes on, we will not be going to school.
All of this, mind you, is delivered not in a threatening tone but a matter of fact tone.
She puts on her shoes.
Come to think of it, my delivery here might not have been quite right either. I think it maybe should've been something like, "You can choose not to put your shoes on, but we can't go to school unless we have shoes on. You decide." And then go on to ask her if she wants to go to school, etc. Get it? There's a whole lot of psychology that goes into this parenting biz...
I'd always been kind of interested in psych as a career, but more so in the way of psycho-analyzing adults where I might not be so vested in the outcome.