Recently I had the opportunity to seriously consider a full time job. Oh the possibility sounded luscious! What?! GO TO WORK?? Sit at a computer all day, hanging out with adults having adult conversations about the state of the world today (or maybe just the state of fashion today). Oh that would be dreamy.
However, as I am in the back seat with D rambling on about how "this job starts part time at first with option of full time or could possibly just start full time...I had said that with full time I would want flex time - maybe in the office three days a week and out two days..." And here is D next to me chiming in, "nooo, I don't want you to."
At the time I kind of ignored that she even spoke but in my mind I had thought, "Did she just say that? Did she really understand what I was just rambling about?? Could that be?"
And then a little bit of me felt a tinge of guilt. Because it's true. If I go back to work...in an actual office then I truly would not see her all day and maybe just see her at night for dinner and bed. I guess that is kind of sad...for her part.
So, as I sit here contemplating this new job opp I am thinking I want my cake and I want to eat it to. Maybe though I've been moaning that I've wanted to break loose and get a job maybe what I really would prefer is a NANNY! So I can work (from home) and still get the benefit of being around for D. Of course, I don't need a psychic to tell me how that situation might turn out - likely we will have a nanny sitting around here calling out to D to come over and check out this and the other, try to engage her in play and all she wants is to drape herself over my leg, the arm of my chair, get me to carry her while I am working...just a lot of nothing going on for me, the sitter and D.
This will really take some careful consideration....