I realize that I have inadvertently spoiled my daughter. Just the sheer fact that neither Greg nor I have to leave the house to work, this girl received no structure in her young life thus far. Hmm, maybe that and the myriad of web message boards and askdrsears.com etc. touting how important it is to pamper your child, cuddle her when she needs it. Attend to her every cry. Hello?? No, that is not the correct way to parent.
My father explained it in a very smart way today. He said, a baby cries b/c it is her only way of communication. She'll cry to let you know if she's hungry, tired, wet, cold, hot, whatever. But, she will also cry because she is looking for comfort that is most agreeable to her. That statement there, that is the key. "wanting what is most comfortable to her" which at her young age (almost 3 months) is to be ON her mother 24 hours a day. That is not acceptable. And for the majority of women, they just never even entertain that cry because they have to get back to work so that baby is going to learn independence and to self soothe very quickly. My daughter on the other hand has been workin' us! Oh, she must just feel so smug that she's got her mommy and daddy wrapped around her precious little finger.
My father and his new wife are in town this weekend and Tina (the wife) was very sympathetic to me while I stood around rocking my baby til she fell asleep and still rocking away while she sleeps. Tina said, "You need to just let that baby cry. It doesn't hurt them, in fact it helps them." She had her baby trained by one month of age and that baby slept well, ate well and was smiling and happy all the time. In fact, complete strangers would compliment her on how well behaved and happy her baby was. Umm, yes. I want that.
I am so excited to start training this girl! Ohh, what it will be like to just put her down in her bed and have her fall asleep on her own...as opposed to rocking her for 40 minutes plus and then waiting and waiting to make sure she's good an asleep before putting her down. Those days will be over very shortly! Yippee for progress!!
Attachment parenting enthusiasts...need to get a life. :o) Bitter much? Why, yes....
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oh gosh, i know...training is a little rough at the beginning, but the reward is quite nice!! i just don't know if i'll be able to do it...but I know when you've got a 2nd kid, that one just has to learn to do a lot on their own while the eldest, spoiled one is taken care of! on the flip side, TL was a product of 24/7 coddling, er, i mean, attachment parenting & he is a FANTASTIC kid, dare I say the best ever. :-D
ReplyDeletehe is getting older these days & so I don't hold him nearly as much & honestly, it makes me really sad.
good luck to you unspoiling your child! :-D